No one told me what being married would really be like. Before marriage, I was a "career" woman, I had no real idea of what an adjustment it would be. You see my background forged the very foundation of who I am with the intermingling of three very important activities in my up bringing, 1) going to a good Bible church sporadically during my formulative adolescent years, 2) going to a public school, and 3)fending for myself in the areas of the domestic arts as a young girl. I don't say this to be critical of my mother's memory, inspite of the fact she had to work all the time, her deep desire was to stay at home with us, especially when we were young, but life brings things your way and you do the best you can...Anyway, these three things gave me several conflicting philosophies as related to the area of domesticity. The Bible definition, the human definition and then my own take on the two. Of course when you have the truth...it will always somehow make its way to the top, like the cream in milk...the very best is just waiting to be taken. After marriage, wonderfully delighted with my new found very defined role, I began to struggle in areas of, uh oh, beware my feminist friends, of submitting to the authority of my husband...very quickly, let me qualify that submission does not make a woman oppressed, as humans on this earth, we submit ourselves on a daily basis to the laws that govern us, the schools we educate ourselves at and to the authority of our parents (to some degree)...it merely allows for the smooth operation in the business of the home. I generally take such difficulties and try to meet them head on. In regards to my lack of submission, my home was not peaceful. I was unhappy and frustrated. There desperately had to be a change. Besides, I was told marriage was the closest thing to heaven on earth. At that point in my marriage I felt very far from heaven. I wanted to find the most effect way...So when it came to combating the feminist within (feminism is just another complicated term for selfishness), I went straight to the very source of recovery...the Bible. After seeking truth from there I then went to someone who had travelled the road of wife hood a little further and who could honestly say they had and have a heavenly marriage. Thankfully, I had a very dear friend who gave me a book most women would definitely scoff at, for the principals discussed there in are in no way "progressive". Now granted I didn't take everything in the book for advice but for the most part after reading the book, I was thoroughly schooled in what it was that I needed to do to help in the area of my lack of submission in my home. I consider myself a feminist on the road to recovery, I am slowly discovering the very perfect femininity as designed by the Creator Himself. I consider myself a "Progressive" Housewife. For the past almost 5 years, I can see a change in my very reactive behavior; I see "progression" towards the positive. This is no doubt due the the rediscovery of womanhood as defined by the perfect Word, the Bible. I must accredit this change to the Lord Himself...for if you know me, you know that that "progression" truly does take a miracle!
Here is something that I have hanging on my refrigerator to help me remember things in relation to what my purpose is in my marriage.
{The ABC's of Being a Good Help Meet (taken from, the book, Created to Be His Help Meet by Debi Pearl)}
Ladies, shall we learn our ABCs?
A-Admit when Your Wrong,
B-Be positive,
C-Cuddle,
D-Do it his way (a very hard thing for me to do at times),
E-Encourage Him,
F-Fix his breakfast (or dinner if he doesn't eat breakfast),
G-Give back rubs,
H-Hug often,
I-"I love you" should be said many times daily,
J-Joke around,
K-Know his needs,
L-Listen to him,
M-Manage you home well,
N-Never hold grudges,
O-Open your eyes in the morning and smile,
P-Pray for him,
Q-Quit nagging him (OOOps!!),
R-Reminisce about good time,
S-Show respect and honor,
T-Trust, and earn his trust,
U-Understand his need for reverence,
V-Vulnerability is a feminine trait; cultivate it (OOOps again!!)
W-Wink at him,
X-well....you know :),
Y-Yearn to please him,
Z-Zealously guard him with your love
No comments:
Post a Comment