Watch Out! Big Women In the Street...

I am thinking back to the time I took College Writing right after I got out of the Marines before I came to OKC, the 3 c's, as everyone called it, Westmoreland County Community College...My teacher, Professor Molnar, was introducing himself and telling us what the class was all about.  He explained to us [about 25 kids ages 18 to the oldest, me, at the time, 23] his English philosophy in writing.  He told us that there were two modes of thinking when it came to writing and grammar. 

The first mode was the old school persuasion.  The highly educated, extremely proficient, Doctor of English way, which basically said that if you, a student of English, in anyway, mess up the grammar  you are using when writing then you have no business writing anything beyond simple sentences.  This means: Practice people! Diagram those sentences...drills, drills, practice practice, 8 parts of speech, phrases, clauses, drills, practice..etc....and that's if you have a decent teacher who feels the same way and teaches you that way.   Well most of us slow ones went to public school...can you tell? [Side note: I was looking back at my blog posts...oops is all I can say...I have made some real big mistakes, please forgive me]....but I'm practicing....anyway.  As a product of that public education, my English grammar stopped in the 9th grade.  From then on we learned how to write research papers, wrote in journals and did critical thinking drills. 

The other mode of thinking was what Professor Molnar adopted as his philosophy in teaching young people to use English,  he said if you don't have a voice [a writing voice] then you will never even try to use the language.  Whether it is because of your poor training and the resulting embarrassment that goes along with it or your lack of interest in actually writing to say something.  So to help his young pupils develop their inner voice he gave us an assignment to help break the ice of our collective writers' block...He then asked us if we each had a "pet peeve"....oh man, I was excited at this point because I sure did, I had and still have many "pet peeves"...like people who push their carts so close to you in the check-out line that they bump you; I want to turn around and say, "please back off!!", or when people throw trash out of their car windows...or when someone driving pulls out in front of you so you have to slam on the breaks, just so they can turn at the next street....

I think the list could go on....I say all this to tell you about, I think, one of my biggest pet peeves...BIG WOMEN IN THE STREET!! 

I was driving home tonight after our Wednesday night service around 8:45 p.m....I was in the nursery, so I've been with more than seven kids for a good 12 hours...I baby sat today from 7:30 a.m. till 5:30 p.m. and then had nursery where I watched six little 2&3 year olds. I'm ready to get home to say the least.  As I'm driving on this particular stretch of road which is known for its other wise questionable surroundings....like let's just say the kind of people who live there are probably all voting for Obama come November so they can get their next big "check"....I was going to add some extra descriptive words to my title to help you understand better.  But I figured you'd get it...anyway back to me driving...I'm going about 35 mph when I see off in the not so distant path 3 figures, a man, of I'd say average build, then two very large women. 

I will tell you that you have probably seen these ladies before in your local Walmart sighting...tight short shorts, bellies squeezing out, waddling from side to side...the three figures are in the middle of the first two lanes of a four lane road, the man gets out of the way...but it seems like I am quickly approaching what's left...the two BIG WOMEN IN THE STREET...and let me tell you they have no regard or sense because the one BIG WOMAN in her BIG BLUE SHIRT,  stops, looks at me like I was somehow in the wrong place and almost visually dares me to hit her  At this point I'm about to hit them, so I slow down [I should have sped up] and just did the thing I think most people would do, I honked my horn.

Now, I think there is an etiquette to horn honking... a long honk, to me, is rude and should only be used in the most dangerous of situations, like an eminent crash.  I did not use that horn honk, I used the honk that is of a quick nature, one or two, even three honks to make myself known to her and her friend.  So instead of picking up the pace, the BIG WOMAN in the BIG BLUE SHIRT stops right there in the street still in traffic.  I literally was within inches of hitting her.  I drove by and just stared at her and her BIG WOMAN FRIEND.  I was completely shocked.  She looked at me and waved HER BIG FIST like I was the one in the wrong...

Let me just say if I was by myself, and didn't just come from church, I do believe that my husband would  have come by there seeing me get jumped by to BIG WOMEN IN THE STREET.  I can't help it...I have this tendency to want to right wrongs and those BIG WOMEN WERE WRONG. 

This isn't the first time I've seen this happen, oh maybe they weren't as BIG, but they still just mosey on in the street as if the whole world should stop for them, as if they are entitled to walk in the street instead of using the crosswalks like the rest of us and if you so brazenly challenge that entitlement they will raise their fists in rage and displeasure...  So next time you are driving, WATCH OUT for BIG WOMEN IN THE STREET!

That was my evening....